Who turned out the lights?

Hey just because I am a golfing nerd and there was nothing else on the TV last night I went to bed and put on "battle at little Bighorn"....This is where we got 4 golfers who play on a course starting early evening.....The best part is that usually the last four holes are played under the lights....Night golf.......How cool is that?

Only they never made it to the lights because one team was beating the other so bad they won with 4 holes left.....What the fuck is this....I stayed up late for nothing.

on a better note we got some wicked storms through here last night...Haven't heard one this bad in a long time...Needless to say Dominic was in our room so fast it made our head spin.

I do remember every once in a while when we got really bad storms Dad would sit in the dark with the drapes open...You couldn't help but want to join him....All you could see was the lightning and rain....Ironically that is all you could hear also. We had some really cool conversations about nothing in the dark watching the rain.

Bright Idea #1....

As I sit here this morning with my coffee and watch the temp's slowly rise up into the lower 90's before 10am,yeah you heard that right, I have to figure out how to keep the boys entertained today while something around this house gets done.

So bright idea #1...clean the basement...it is cool down there and it really needs to be done.

See we have this room with carpeting and everything, problem is that the kids have toys everywhere....broken toys, mix matched toys, good toys that don't get played with and toys that would get played with if they could find them.

So we are going to get two huge garbage can...can #1 is going to be broken, crappy toys that no one would want to play with or mixed matched toys that you can't play with cuz you don't have something else. Can #2 will be good toys, these are toys that are good and you want to keep them or good toys that they won't play with and are going to goodwill.

I know just what your saying...."Paul my boy! You are a genius, dammit that sounds like a great plan and seriously...what can go wrong" I'll let you know just how great my plan is later today.



****UPDATE*****
well it went as well as I could have hoped....they cleaned separating the good toys from the broken ones until about 3:30 this afternoon....at which point I told them to go play. They had made a dent in the toys....all I can say is CHRIST THERE ARE A LOT OF TOYS.

Tomarrow is another day of clean up...the will be Jens job now for the rest of the week....yeah she'll be happy about that!

doust thus decieve my eyes....ith

what is this clear liquid falling from the sky today......what's that you say?

what is this "rain" that you call from the sky......

Yep rain...wow....how cool.....now we better not get in the habit of it raining now....that would suck huh?

ok actual conversation I had with someone on the phone at work today.

"this is Paul how can I help you?"
"Hi this is john K@##$#%$#@!@^$%" (totally not understanding his last name due to the stoner accent.

"Hi john how can I help you?"
"Ummm....yeah......Ummm.....could I get me schedule for my work hours next week"
"well they are not done yet john, won't be until tomarrow morning"
"oh.........could I get my work schedule for this week then?"
"but john this week is almost done......haven't you been checking to see if you work"
"uuummmmmm....nope"
"Ok, well how do you spell your last name...."
"(spoken to me) Kellner" (ok this was spoken to me not spelled to me and out of pure frustration at this point I forced him to spell it out...didn't have to since kellner isn't a very hard name but I was pissed.

"john it looks like you were scheduled all week and haven't shown up.....so at this point you were termniated last night so we are going to need you to come in tomarrow and drop off your punch card and sign form for us"

"oh..well that sucks"


Yep this was the conversation.....sad really.

Potterized

Yeah, I am ashamed really.

See I didn't wait up until midnight to get the now "half-blood prince" Harry Potter book. I kinda played it off as "oh I don't need the book right away.

I waited until we, as a family, was taking a drive and said "oh I want to stop at wal-mart quick".

Then as I walked in I just grabbed a copy and headed straight for the check-out to this conversation.

me: "wow, has it been busy for the book"
her: "yeah, crazy"
me: "well I, I mean my boys, ain't huge fans but since everyone else has one I thought why not"
her: "this is for you isn't it"
me: "ummmmm, no.....ok maybe a little"

yep...I have been Potterized.

Camping Sucks

I don't care what you say...Camping Sucks! Period!

Jen almost had me convinced that I could handle camping...turns out that between the damp wood that wouldn't burn, the air mattress that popped a hole, the raccoons that got our food, the bugs that were relentless, the 90 degrees of heat........and lack of sleep.....even Jen didn't want to stay out any longer. So our planned two night camping trip turned out to be a little less than 24 hours.

Next Year she is going to have to do a little more convincing....I am thinking a trip to the dells would be much more fun and relaxing.....minus the bug bites.

...And On the Third Hole The Divine One Rises From the Ashes

For some of you that have followed this blog for a while, you will remember we left off last years golf season with a win over my Dad in golf. I left it that way so he could remember the whole winter his youngest son kicking his ass.

Well today we started the day even...hole number 1....we both shot 7's...yep ugly start but we had 17 holes to go......hole 2....he 5'd...I 7nd....shit two down...

Then it happened...(at least this is how I remember it).....the clouds started to part on hole number three....par 3 138 yards.....all wind calmed down on his back swing and then with a clap of thunder as his club head made contact all I heard was the music to the "Natural" in the background (I think he hired someone to play the music as I stood there)......

The ball flew....slightly right of the whole....landing on the green...kicking left toward the whole..........."GET IN" I Yelled.......and the white spot that we were watching.....Disappeared......

As we stood there I thought "that deserves a high five"....

Yep it only took 50 years of golf to record his first ever....and statistically probably his only....hole in one he'll ever have.....

In the last month I have been there to see my Dad cry...and see him score a Hole-In-One.....Then Jen reminded me of just how special that is.

Way to go Dad....I was honored to be the one that when that story will be told, will be the only witness to your greatest shot ever.

Crazyness....Pure Crazyness

Last weekend was pure crazyness but what a great time had by all.

Being that it was the 4th of July we had a family get together at our house which we have been doing the last couple of years, with limited success with everyone showing up. But this year....yep this year all four of my siblings showed up at the house with family members in tow. So we had grandparents, moms and dads, neices and newfews, cousins....we were all there.

Holy shit I should have gotten more hamburgers and brats!

But unlike previous years the weather was fantasic which led everyone outside....then Tommy comes up and asks if we could play baseball...he wanted me to pitch to him. Then it started.....a crowd gathered...and after every hit there was cheering and clapping....then dominic got into it....then my dad tood some swings...next thing you know we had a home run contest going on....there was bantering and making fun of people....there was support for the kids when they swung and missed and pure joy for them when they got a hit.....it was cool.

In the background brothers and sisters were taking pictures with each other, husbands and wives were taking pictures with each other...cousins.....kids....you get the point.

Also, we had a mixed crowd....Jens mom and sister showed up...so we had a mixture of Rautmann and Andrews....it was nice.

Suprisingly enough there was not much food left over...we had maybe 4 brats and 3 hamburgers....so much for having food for the week....

So below you will see some pictures of the day.....enjoy.


Classic reunion played a rain dance apparently


I am a leg man myself


look at the cigar in his hand...


goofballs

I Wish I Was a Baller

My Dad wrote about dreams, or daydreaming. You know almost a movie type clip in your head with you as a hero. For him it was being able to twinkle the ivory keys of the piano.

There was a song by Skee Lo called "I wish" the lyrics go:

I wish I was little bit taller,
I wish I was a baller

Well I was a decent baller so I can't complain about that but I always dreamed of being able to dunk a basketball. My dream was to be able to dunk in a game over someone that was like 6'7". But not just any dunk...oh no...my dream was to see the clock click down to 10 seconds and get a pick from the forward off the block. I would fake hi and cut to the basket using the pick (oh yeah this is all in slow motion). As I come off the pick the point guard gets the ball high in the air, floating effortlessly over reaching arms and hands. I take about 5 step before taking off toward the basket, catching the ball at its height with two hands and finishing the dunk with some authority, making the basket rock back and forth as the clock hits 0's and the buzzer rings in the air sounding the end of the game....

oh yeah then I realize that I am big fat white guy and the imagery changes to me pulling a hamstring on the cut and not even making it to the basket for layup let alone a dunk......

Well anyway that is my sportscenter highlight!

What is your dream.......can't get any worse than a big fat white guy thinking he can dunk.

Posted by P.Large @ 7:49 PM | 0 comments