Mom
Jenny and I were talking tonight.
I need new glasses, not that the ones that I have are bad, just that the styles have changed, so I have to change the style soon or other wise I will revert back to pre-7th grade Paul.....What Paul is that. You ask? Well, see Mom put me through a lot of really geeky things, and in talking to jenny she started to make fun of me until I realized the truly humorous nature of what I went through. Oh what can be so bad? Here is my list of top geekyest things mom made me do......Love you mom, but these are good, you'll like and I hope you get a good laugh.
Made me take millions (yes millions) of vitamins over the years to the point I had to hide them in cushions, under couches, bathroom garbage cans, thrown outside....You get the point. It was almost sadistic.
She convinced me to get a perm!
I had the same pair of glasses for 5 years....At the time it was half my life. They were huge, tinted and the glass was thick (yep I was a looker).
She tried to convince me that carob tastes just like chocolate.....Oh I digress.
Apparently basic H is good for sunburns, all I ever thought it did was make me feel soapy.
she crushed vitamin C and put on bee stings (come on really now)
She colored me! (yep I am a Winter, who woulda knew?)
She gave me a dolly (yep my brother had one too)
She taught me foot reflexology (which is now beneficial, but for a 12 year old kid it was just weird).
And lastly and maybe the most damaging to my psyche as a kid were the weekly trips to Manitowoc too see the eye doctor. I had to jump on a trampiline on one leg, they made me write with my left hand, they put magnified glasses on that screwed up my eyes on purpose and look at a 3D book. That last one gave me a headache. Oh and maybe the most embarrassing were the pinhole glasses that had a plastic contraption in front. Let me tell you how cool I was with those on, lets face it mom, it was just weird sometimes.
And I would like to leave this most wonderful entry, cause jenny is rolling on the floor with wild images flowing through her mind, with one phrase.....
It is a good hurt!
Posted by P.Large @
9:30 PM |

Paul.....this message is from your MOM!!!!!
I am guilty of everything you wrote that I did. However, I never, never, never made you get a perm in your hair. That decision was made by you, although I'm sure was paid for by your dad and I. Quoting your dad, "my SON wants to perm his hair?" (A few years later it was, "my SON wants an earring in his ear?")
Love you, SON!!!!!